How Do You Know When Someone Is Really Struggling?
Jul 20
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your sendyouth team
"I'm fine."
Those two words have become one of the most common lies young people tell.
We hear them every day. We say them ourselves. Then we keep scrolling, laughing, posting, studying, serving at church, and carrying burdens that nobody else can see.
The hardest struggles are often invisible.
Anxiety rarely announces itself. Depression does not always look like sadness. Burnout can wear a smile. Someone can lead worship on Sunday and cry themselves to sleep on Monday.
So let me ask you a question that has stayed with me lately:
'What are the signs we are trained to ignore?'
The Person Everyone Thinks Is "Doing Fine"
If you've spent time on Nigerian or Ghanaian X (formerly Twitter), TikTok, or Instagram lately, you've probably noticed a pattern. Every few weeks, another young person shares a post that begins with something like, "Nobody knew what I was going through."
Sometimes those stories end with healing. Sometimes they end in heartbreaking loss.
Many young Africans grow up believing they must always appear strong. We are taught not to burden others. We hear phrases like, "Be strong," or "Others have it worse." Over time, many people become experts at hiding pain.
The problem is that if everyone learns to hide, everyone also forgets how to notice.
Struggle Doesn't Always Look Like Tears
Someone who is struggling may not cry in public.
Instead, you might notice they stop replying to messages. They laugh less than they used to. They suddenly pull away from church or friends. They become unusually angry over small things. Their grades begin to slip. They seem constantly tired or overwhelmed.
Sometimes they stay busy every minute because slowing down means facing emotions they have been avoiding.
None of these signs automatically mean someone is in crisis. But they are invitations to pay attention instead of making assumptions.
Jesus Calls Us to Notice
Paul writes,
"Share each other's burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ." — Galatians 6:2 (NLT)
Notice that Paul assumes people will have burdens.
Our calling is not to judge them for struggling or rush to fix everything. It is to help carry the weight.
Sometimes that begins with something as simple as asking, "How are you really doing?" Then staying long enough to listen to the answer.
The Courage to Reach Out
If you are the one struggling, hear this clearly: asking for help is not weakness.
Talk to someone you trust. A parent. A youth leader. A mentor. A mature Christian friend. God often brings healing through people who are willing to walk beside us.
And if you are doing well right now, look around.
Who has gone unusually quiet?
Who stopped showing up?
Who keeps saying, "I'm okay," but no longer looks like themselves?
Your message or phone call could remind someone they are not carrying their burden alone.
Final Thoughts
We live in a world that rewards appearances. God calls us to something deeper.
He calls us to notice the people everyone else overlooks. To listen before we assume. To care before a crisis forces us to.
The strongest communities are not the ones where nobody struggles. They are the ones where nobody has to struggle alone.
At SendYouth International, we believe young people grow best in communities marked by truth, compassion, and Christ-centered relationships. Visit www.sendyouth.org for more articles, biblical encouragement, and practical resources to help you grow in faith and walk alongside others.
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